One of my earliest memories is when I was four years old and I was trying to create some sort of art project. I don't even know what it was, all I know is that I needed scissors so I could cut out whatever I had made.
As a four year old I was not allowed to use the scissors for obvious fear that I would lacerate myself, but I didn't realize this because I considered myself rather dexterous and so I grabbed the scissors off the counter...to be honest I don't remember how I actually acquired the scissors, all I know is that I got them somehow.
The only problem was that in order to get them to my room where my art project was, I had to get past my parents room where my Dad had the door open watching the news. I peaked around the corner to make sure he wasn't looking but as I stepped into the hallway he turned around and saw me with the scissors and he let out one of his Floyd-esque "Jacob! what are you doing? What are you carrying? Are those SCISSORS!?"'s.
The jig was up and the sensible thing would've been to stop and put down the scissors but like I've said before, I don't make sensible decisions when I am faced with punishment.
When motherly figures advise you to "never run with scissors" you probably think to yourself "Why would anyone ever even need to run with scissors in the first place?"
Well apparently four year olds facing restriction from any future art projects do, because that is what I did. Or at least tried to do, cause I only made it about halfway down the hallway before I tripped and fell on my face. I'm not really sure when I started crying but I definitely cried and it is a good thing I was at least holding the scissors in the correct fashion or I might've had one less eye.
The moral of this story is never run with scissors. That's it. I just wanted to make sure you were all transporting your sharp objects responsibly.
side note: If you were wondering what "restriction" is, then I don't blame you. It is Floyd's alternative to "grounding". Like for example, if you were put on restriction from the computer then you weren't allowed to use the computer. One time I was threatened to be restricted from coloring and I snarkily responded that I had to color in kindergarten and then Floyd said that he would call the school and tell them that I wasn't allowed to color so then I just shut up.
I never actually did get restricted though, I was always just threatened with it. "Restricted" sounds so much more menacing than "grounded" does, so I think the threat was all that was needed to make me be good. That and Santa Clause.
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