Best Friends. Forever. Or Else.

This is my 50th blog post! I started this blog two years ago this month as a means of getting more attention for myself. I also like writing.


I have never been really good at making friends, I suppose this blog has been a way for people to maybe relate to me and hopefully like me without us ever having to carry out an actual conversation. I can be sort of accusatory when I meet someone new. Like I'm suspicious of why they want to be my friend and as a result I scowl a lot and ask weird questions. This evening I got a friend request on Facebook from someone who still goes to my old high school. I didn't know who the person was but I accepted the request anyway. I did this for multiple reasons, them being:


1. I have a kind heart


2. The more friends I have on Facebook the more better I feel about myself
    2a. yes it's shallow, but don't lie to yourself you feel the same way.
    2b. shove it grammar police


3. I was flattered that someone I didn't know wanted to be my friend on Facebook and possibly real life.


4. The more friends I have on Facebook the more potential readers there are for this blog
    4a. You are my friend for reading this
          4a1. Unless your name is Richard. Then I hate you.


5. I am terribly lonely.


So I decided to try this friendship out. The kids name was Kevin. I wrote on his wall and basically said the same things that I outlined above. After about five minutes though my post disappeared and I thought he had deleted it. So I sort of accosted him on Facebook chat and probably ruined any chance at an actual friendship:

• 
  

  Jacob Walters

  • dude
  • whyd you delete my wall post
• about an hour ago

  Kevin NewFriend

  • What?
  • What did you post on my wall?
• about an hour ago

  Jacob Walters

  • i like wrote a whole paragraph on your wall
  • and now its gone
• about an hour ago

  Kevin NewFriend

  • What did it say
• about an hour ago

  Jacob Walters

  • i was just saying i looked forward to our friendship
  • and i asked if you respected your date at homecoming
• about an hour ago

  Kevin NewFriend

  • Oh...cool, me too
• about an hour ago

  Jacob Walters

  • well did you?
• about an hour ago

  Kevin NewFriend

  • Delete it?
  • No
• about an hour ago

  Jacob Walters

  • no did you respect you date
• about an hour ago

  Kevin NewFriend

  • Date....
• about an hour ago

  Jacob Walters

  • to homecoming
• about an hour ago

  Kevin NewFriend

  • Yes I did
• about an hour ago

  Jacob Walters

  • hey thats great!
• about an hour ago

  Kevin NewFriend

  • Ya it was fun
• about an hour ago

  Jacob Walters

  • good good
  • you keepin up in your studies?
• about an hour ago

  Kevin NewFriend

  • Yup...are you
• about an hour ago

  Jacob Walters

  • duhh
  • im in college
  • it means im smart
  • how do you know me anyway
  • why did you add me
• about an hour ago

  Kevin NewFriend

  • I'm in first ward
• about an hour ago

  Jacob Walters

  • oh shoot youre mormon
• about an hour ago

  Kevin NewFriend

  • Haha ya
• about an hour ago

  Jacob Walters

  • thats cool
  • are you new
• about an hour ago

  Kevin NewFriend

  • Not really
• about an hour ago

  Jacob Walters

  • hmm well
  • are you a freshman
• about an hour ago

  Kevin NewFriend

  • Sophomore
• about an hour ago

  Jacob Walters

  • riiiigghttt
• about an hour ago

  Kevin NewFriend

  • Ya I'm gonna go.....
• about an hour ago

  Jacob Walters

  • oh

• about an hour ago

  Jacob Walters

  • ok
  • bye

I think I offended him.

But I really do want to be his friend. 

P.S. if you post a link to this blog on your Facebook I will add you to a list of Platinum Donors on the About page. If you tweet out a link I'll give you a piggy-back ride, but you don't have to accept it if that makes you uncomfortable. 

P.P.S. I totes got Kevin's permission to post our conversation. Not that I didn't think about posting it without asking. Journalistic integrity. 

• 
  

  
  

  
  

Baby Fever

I came up with the title for this post before I even wrote anything down. I usually don't do this. The title typically comes either half-way through or when I am done writing a post. I was having a hard time coming up with a subject however, so I decided to spark my creativity by thinking of a title first.

From the way I see it I have one of three options for this posts subject based on the title I chose (Baby Fever):

Option 1. Talk about my borderline creepy obsession with cute babies. Specifically how much I adore my four month old niece, Madison. 

Option 2. Talk about actual situations in which a baby's body temperature exceeds 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit or 38.00000000000001 degrees Celsius. (Also would include short commentary on temperature taking methods and how they can be improved).  

Option 3. Give an in-depth analysis and review of the Lifetime television movie "The Pregnancy Pact".

The decision was easier than it probably should have been. We're going with option 3.

I haven't actually seen the movie in a while but I remember enough of it, I think, to give an extremely biased opinion.

Basically the premise of the move is that these friends in high school all really want babies. They make a promise to each other that they will get pregnant at the same time and eventually do. It is important to point out that this movie is based on a true story. A fact that increases one's anger while watching the movie. 

Anger, that's the only real word I can use to describe what I felt while watching "The Pregnancy Pact." My favorite moment was when after finding out she is pregnant, one of the fifteen year olds says something like "So this must be what Jamie Lynn Spears feels like!" I nearly spat out my orange juice.

You can't help but hate the characters in this movie. (That being said you can't really help but hate the character's in every Lifetime movie.) It aggravates me just to write about it. But like anything that is terrible, it's hard to look away. For some reason I enjoy watching things like this just so I can upset myself. It's for this same reason that I sometimes listen the Jonas Brothers' song "The Year 3000".  IT IS ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE. but I still listen to it, not as a guilty pleasure, but rather, a guilty shame. I like the fact that I can listen to it and recognize how terrible it is. It lets me know that I am neither tasteless nor ridiculous and that I have grounds for hating them and their music.

The same goes for this movie. For me it reaffirmed the fact that 15 year olds who make a pact to get pregnant because they want to raise their babies together are some of the stupidest people on earth. I think mothers should give their daughters a good shaking every once in a while.

The naivete that is involved in the teenage years is a horrible but necessary thing. It is what provides adults with the right to look at their children with contempt when they do stupid things. It's part of the circle of life. You do stupid things as a teenager and then as an adult you get mad at teenagers for doing stupid things and then you die and become grass and then the antelope eat the grass and then we eat the antelope etc etc. 

It's inescapable. Unless you're like me, and you plan on forcing your teenage daughter to wear shirts that say things like. "My Father will stab you" or "I have disease".

No daughter of mine will ever feel what it is like to be Jamie Lynn Spears, pregnancy pact, or no pregnancy pact. 

I give this movie 2 placentas out of 5.