Bangin' on a Trashcan

Since I turned eight it has been my job to put the trashcans on the curb on trash day. I was extremely reluctant to take this job but in reality I didn't have any choice, because my parents said so. They tried to make it better by offering me one dollar every week that I did it which really isn't very much at all, but then again, it was a very easy job....or was it? I didn't have a problem with walking the cans to the curb, a very easy thing to do, my problems were with the on the job risks that I'm pretty sure were not factored into the salary I was offered. You may be wondering what risks could possibly be involved with moving plastic cans approximately 100 yards once a week.

All I have to say is: How dare you.

How dare you think that I didn't work hard and put my well-being on the line for that weekly dollar. I don't think you understand how many spiders decided to make their homes, tucked up under the handles of the cans, just waiting to crawl out onto my hand and do whatever spiders do once they make contact with human flesh. I wouldn't know, I've never let that happen.
The first time I found spiders on the infernal cans I taught them a painful lesson on housing choices in the form of a lot of WD-40 and a kithcen match. Unfortunately, there would be new spiders every week and it became an issue for me. My dad refused to listen to my continued pleas to release me from trashcan duty and as a result I suffered from a good three weeks of spider related dreams, making it impossible for me to go near those cans.
Ever since, I have had an unfixed fear of spiders. If a spider ever crosses my path I send it straight to hell, because there is no such thing as a spider going to heaven. They are inherently evil and forever will be, and unless a giant spider saves me from an oncoming train I will continue the arachnid genocide.(but even then I would still probably stab the giant spider in the heart.)
I still take the trashcans every week, except I don't get paid anymore, and they are in a location where spiders don't really thrive, but I will still refuse to touch a thrash can if there is even a shred of evidence of recent spider activity, or as I call it, a code 51(current or very recent presence of a spider larger than 1cm.)
Code 51's can be taken care of pretty easily though, with a shoe, or as I call it, a Spider Annihilator.

The Score:
Jacob:347
Spiders: 1*

*a very, very dark and terrible day.