How God Punished Me

Allow me to introduce you to Cream Puff:

She is a dog. A Pomeranian to be exact.

You may be thinking, "She is cute." or "What an adorable dog!" or if you're Asian, "Looks good!"
But all of these thoughts are incorrect. (except maybe the last one) . Don't be fooled by her seemingly adorable appearance. Beneath that soft and cuddly fur is the most retarded animal ever to walk this earth. I hate her with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns. I mean, as much as I loved getting licked in the face while taking a nap on the couch by a dog whose favorite activities include licking itself and eating poop, there's just something about her that makes me want to kick her through the glass door.

Maybe it's the incessant barking, or the constant whining, or the fact that her breath smells like something off the bottom of an elephant's foot but nothing would make me happier if she would just stop living soon. I saw her get kicked in the face by a deer one time and she rolled down the hill, yelping all the way, and it was the funniest thing I have ever seen. Somehow she wound up uninjured, which was disappointing.

She is my sister's dog. She got her for Christmas a few years back and promptly named her Cream Puff.(don't get me started.) We celebrated Christmas in Utah that year, so we had to make the 10 hour drive home with the puppy version of Cream Puff in the car. At first i was receptive of the dog, because it was a puppy and was cute, but then on the ride home she peed on me, thereby establishing the basis of our relationship for the next couple of years.

She has the habit of barking very loudly whenever I walk by my sister's room. I have the habit of kicking her whenever I walk by my sister's room.

It's not a love/hate relationship, it's a "I'm a retarded dog/"I hate this dog" relationship. I keep hoping that a pine cone will fall on her head and kill her or that she will run away. She is right behind me at this very moment, chasing her tail and growling. So dumb.

Korean BBQ for dinner tonight I guess.

UPDATE: The dog is now in heat. Oh the joy.