One Year Older Means One Year Closer to Dying

I'd be very happy to have the opportunity to slay a bear. Preferably it would be with my bare hands, but I'd be happy enough to do it with an awesome knife. Even better would be to kill the bear in order to protect a defenseless baby. That is something that will make your life complete right there. The only downside would be all the publicity you would get for defending a baby from a raging grizzly. I'd have paparazzi following me everywhere, asking me questions like, "Why'd you save the baby? Is it yours?" and "What about the Bear's family? You killed some baby Bear's father! How does it feel to be a daddy killer?" They wouldn't get too close though because they would know what I am capable of.

The fact that I'm going through scenarios like this in my mind makes me believe that I am currently going through a mid-life crisis, which isn't good because that means I'm only going to live to about 36. If I had the money I'd probably be getting hair implants and buying expensive cars right now, but instead I'm taking a lot of naps and making up bear killing fantasies. I'm also playing a lot of Xbox.(my gamertag is Stenkyjenky, add me.)

I think that it's a good thing that I'm going through my mid-life crisis now, because by the time I reach my actual mid-life, which is hopefully somewhere around 45, I don't think killing a bear will be quite as possible.

Other things on my Mid-life crisis to-do list:

1.Go to the North Pole
2.Be an astronaut
3.Fight the Spider King.
4. Marry Zoey Deschanel
5. Win a carnival game
6. invent a breakfast cereal
7. Avenge Jeff Facer's stingray sting.
8. Barbecue a delicious steak
9. Get a compliment from a judgemental person
10.Find a leprechaun.

Maybe if I'm lucky enough, I'll get all this done by tomorrow...unless I fall asleep first.