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16 February 2011

An Ode to Tools

A Tools World
by Jacob Walters
/
I awoke with a start
the day had begun
my eyes barely open
my alarm loudly rung.
/
I took off the sunglasses
That I wear while I sleep,
Cause the sun never sets
on this cool, awesome peep.
/
I yawned a big yawn
and walked down the hall
we were out of Reese's Puffs,
so I punched through a wall.
/
I yelled at my mom
for a minute or two
then I showered and dressed
and took a pic of my pooh.
/
Sleeveless and shaved
my arms looked real good.
Hat and pants in the style
I always see in the hood.
/
Fire up the Prius,
drink a Monster or two.
Gotta get my fix,
cause you know how I do. (*shirt flick*)
/
Roll into school
chin always up in the air
Walk like I've got
something stuck up in there.
/
Running late to my class.
pshhh it's whatever,
I'm gonna be an MMA fighter
I don't need to be clever.
/
Call all the girls babe,
sweety, cutie, and honey
when in reality I get
with the girls that are funny...looking.
/
The weekend, it's coming,
I'm pumped out of my mind.
I wanna go crazy
but there's so little time.
/
I bring my guitar
everywhere that I go
I can play 3 different chords
and I want everyone to know.
/
My crew is legit
we always roll phat
and we've all got cool nicknames
like Vinny and Pat.
/
On the weekends we cruise
in Mikey's 350 Z
trolling for babes
and any hot mom's that we see.
/
We fill water balloons
with our bodily fluid
then fling them at cars
and old women, cause they're stupid.
/
So as you can see,
my life ain't no joke.
'till ten years from now,
when I'm strung out on coke.
/
So maybe I should stop
acting like such a fool,
but that would be impossible
because I'm a tool.

*END*


So yeah, that's a poem that I wrote. I made myself angry while writing it just cause the main character guy is such an idiotstupidface.

BONUS STANZA THAT I COULDN'T USE CAUSE IT DOESN'T RHYME:

My earphones hang loosely,
from the front of my shirt
even though they're not plugged into anything
I just want people to know that I'm really into music and listening to it and stuff.

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