Typing for the sake of typing is sort of comforting in a way because it makes you feel like you are being productive but in reality you are completely ignoring what you set out to do. There are a million different distractions that can catch my gaze and I give in to every single one of them. Focus is not something that I succeed at. There is always something more interesting going on around me that I want to witness. Why do something boring when something interesting is going on? Because if you don’t, then your grades get screwed up and you have to take remedial English come summertime . I might as well do the work now when its cold and rainy outside with not much else to do instead of when it is sunny and warm and the number of interesting things going on around you increase ten-fold. That’s what I tell myself, but I am a very unconvincing person.
You would think that the library would be a good place to focus on your work but you’d be surprised. The problem with the library is that other people are always there. Especially small public libraries, there are always tons of people .On television you always get this idea that libraries are quiet places where you can do intense studying or meeting you soul-mate. I have yet to do either in a library, let alone anywhere, especially the first one. Like I mentioned before I have a focus problem.
Getting distracted is like doing jenkem, you know you shouldn’t do it and you’ll regret it terribly at some point but you just can’t stay away. Not that I do jenkem, because that is absolutely disgusting. It’s an addiction, if you will. My mom thinks I have ADD but that’s just crazy talk. I’ve seen those kids with A.D.D. and I’m fairly sure that I don’t have it, but the fact that it took me an hour just to type this much doesn’t really help my case.
Whoa! There I go again getting off topic , I was talking about libraries but I got distracted by the kid and tutor sitting next to me having a conversation about flux capacitors. They had no idea what they were talking about, and I was going to offer to show them the one I had in my DeLorean, but they left before I could muster up the courage to not be shy.
My being prone to distraction has gotten me into some pretty sticky situations before, like the time I got distracted by talk radio and went 88 on the freeway(there were a lot more distractions in 1955.) , or when instead of writing a paper for English I did an experiment in my kitchen(This one was quite literallt a "sticky situation" never mix mint jelly, baking soda, and vinegar over an open flame.)
I went to go buy one of old, cheap books they have up in the front of the library but the librarian asked me for my library card. I told her that I didn’t have one and she asked me if I would like to get one. I told that I would not because I don’t like being able to be tracked. She assured me that they didn’t give out the information to anyone and then I made the point that that is exactly what she would say if they did give my information to other shady organizations. She couldn’t argue with my logic but I still need a card in order to buy the book so I just said “Forget you” and walked away.
The truth is that I really do have a library card and I give my information away to complete strangers for no reason but I didn’t want them to know that because I have an outstanding fine of about $87 in overdue fees that I owe. I’ve come to accept the fact that never again will I be able to check out a book, but it’s just one of those things you have to live with… like polio .
This whole thing has been a huge distraction. I get distracted on top of distractions. I have no idea what I’m going to do for a career. Hopefully not a surgeon because focusing on your triple bypass is way less interesting than Tetris on my cell phone.
Whatever I do end up being, I know that it will be the right job for me, and no matter how distracted I may get or how terrible of a job I may do,I take comfort in knowing that I will always be able to sleep at night…because I have no soul*.
*I handed it over for 3 new pennies and a ham and cheese sandwhich.
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