Contemplation Constipation

Dear Diary,

Just kidding. I don't have a diary, but I was having trouble coming up with a beginning. I actually have a journal with a total of three entries spaced out over a good 17 months. I used to keep a journal regularly from the time I was a small boy of 5. I couldn't write effectively so I dictated to my Father and he would painstakingly record every word exactly as it left my mouth. This helped ensure complete historical accuracy. It's interesting to go back and see what exactly was going through 5 year old self. A lot of entries were just recaps of my days adventures which included activities such as, watching my cat, counting the stones in the walkway, eating chef-boyardee, and losing the legos that my brother specifically told me not to play with but I did anyway. A lot of the things I recorded were very arbitrary but every so often I would delve deeper into my inner thoughts and emotions, like this gem from April 17th, 1998:
"Today I thought about a lot of things. But mostly school because school is stupid, kind of like Karen."

This passage made me happy to reread because it reminded me of two things, 1. I hated school, 2. I hated karen, and 3. I was capable of deep thinking. (I realize that I said it reminded me of two things and I put down three. It's what we in the buisness call "comic relief" What buisness you ask? Funny Buisness.)

My thoughts were very clear and easy to express at that age, and that is something I am currently not capable of. Recently I have had a lot different thoughts and ideas running through my head but it's all been very confusing and conflicting. I call it my contemplation constipation, or contemplationstipation for short. I think it is because I haven't gone to my thinking place in a while. (Side Note: Never let anybody else into your thinking place. It creates conflicting thoughts and awkward conversations.)
I tend to cope with these contemplationstipations by taking a lot of naps, but that doesn't always work because now my mother doesn't let me go into my room after school to "do homework" because what I actually do is fall asleep. I take naps anywhere I can get a spare space large enought to lay down. One time I was trying to fit myself into one of those suit bags but I fell asleep in the attempt and stayed that way for a good four hours. Anyway, what naps do is help clear my mind for a while so those clogging thoughts have an opprotunity to rest and not bother me. On the other hand, whenever I take naps I'm always cranky afterwards, and that doesn't help when trying to interact with other people and convince them that you don't hate life.
I'm not really sure what message I am trying to get across, because of the whole constipation thing, but I guess I can end here. I really don't have anything else. So just like I said on October 18, 1997: "I hope tomorrow is better because today I did not feel good. Oh, and I forgot, I had a peanut butter and banana sandwich for lunch and it didn't taste good."