Mistake = An unmarried piece of beef.

Sometimes I wish I could be walking down the street and I would pass by a park bench and there would be an old man sitting on it. He would be wearing and old man coat and scarf and one of those old timey hats and he'd have a pipe and his hair would be white and he would beckon me over to sit next to him. I would do so and he would proceed to give me fantastic life lessons based on his own experiences and we would have a stimulating disscussion on life in general and its purpose. However I feel that I am fairly safe in my assumption that this will never happen, due to the lack of park benches and old british men in my area. I think the reason that I want this to happen is because I always feel like I need guidance for myself. It could also be that there is something psychiatrically wrong with me but I'm always too afraid to go see the psychiatrist at my school. (who I recently discovered exsisted.)
I realized recently that I would have to be my own old man. Nobody in my life is going to call me over to their park bench and help me learn from their mistakes in life. I have to call myself over to my park bech(or in this case, the armchair in the living room) and learn from my own mistakes. What mistakes do I make? quite a bit actually. I have a top five list of my mistakes that I think have the most to be learned from:

1. Walking behind the swingset.
2. Eating too much food at the Golden Corral
3. Eating at the Golden Corral in the first place (my sister said it was a classy buffet...ya, nothing classier than a 300+ pounder taking the Advert for endless shrimp a little too literally.)
4. Sharky Mcsharkington (long story)
5. Introducing myself as Poo P. Pants at a Coprophobia convention

These definitley aren't the only mistakes I've made, just the ones that have interesting stories behind them, which will be the topics for my posts for the next couple of weeks.(expcept for #4, that story has to be told in person.) I do this with the hope that you won't make the same mistakes I did.

and also with the hopes that you google coprophobia.

Sincerely yours,
Poo P. Pants