An Ode to Tools

A Tools World

by Jacob Walters

/

I awoke with a start

the day had begun

my eyes barely open

my alarm loudly rung.

/

I took off the sunglasses

That I wear while I sleep,

Cause the sun never sets

on this cool, awesome peep.

/

I yawned a big yawn

and walked down the hall

we were out of Reese's Puffs,

so I punched through a wall.

/

I yelled at my mom

for a minute or two

then I showered and dressed

and took a pic of my pooh.

/

Sleeveless and shaved

my arms looked real good.

Hat and pants in the style

I always see in the hood.

/

Fire up the Prius,

drink a Monster or two.

Gotta get my fix,

cause you know how I do. (*shirt flick*)

/

Roll into school

chin always up in the air

Walk like I've got

something stuck up in there.

/

Running late to my class.

pshhh it's whatever,

I'm gonna be an MMA fighter

I don't need to be clever.

/

Call all the girls babe,

sweety, cutie, and honey

when in reality I get

with the girls that are funny...looking.

/

The weekend, it's coming,

I'm pumped out of my mind.

I wanna go crazy

but there's so little time.

/

I bring my guitar

everywhere that I go

I can play 3 different chords

and I want everyone to know.

/

My crew is legit

we always roll phat

and we've all got cool nicknames

like Vinny and Pat.

/

On the weekends we cruise

in Mikey's 350 Z

trolling for babes

and any hot mom's that we see.

/

We fill water balloons

with our bodily fluid

then fling them at cars

and old women, cause they're stupid.

/

So as you can see,

my life ain't no joke.

'till ten years from now,

when I'm strung out on coke.

/

So maybe I should stop

acting like such a fool,

but that would be impossible

because I'm a tool.

*END*

So yeah, that's a poem that I wrote. I made myself angry while writing it just cause the main character guy is such an idiotstupidface.

BONUS STANZA THAT I COULDN'T USE CAUSE IT DOESN'T RHYME:

My earphones hang loosely,

from the front of my shirt

even though they're not plugged into anything

I just want people to know that I'm really into music and listening to it and stuff.