Everybody in the world plays guitar. Except for me. At least that’s what it seems like whenever I venture out of the cave that is my dorm room to take in the festivities of the J Hall lobby. I never had the patience to sit down and actually learn how to play the guitar. The maybe one time I tried I simply remember it being extremely difficult to move my hand around the frets or whatever they’re called and successfully strum with the other. I was too impatient and frustrated to actually make a serious go at it. It was then that I resolved I would never be able to woo any co-eds with my sultry rendition of the latest Coldplay song. From what I have observed, this is the main reason behind the public guitar playing: impressing the female folk. I am more pleading than anything when I say that it has got to stop. The guitar guys have got to go.
This wouldn’t be an issue if it were rare for a male freshman in college to be able to play the guitar. Unfortunately, any guy with an ample amount of free time, no matter how lame or unattractive they are, can learn to play chords. These chords then allow them to play just about any popular song their heart desires. This creates an environment, or even a community, which is known as “the guitar guy circle”. The main part of this circle is the “guitar guy”. He is the one who has control of the guitar and is in the process of either wooing girls, or one-upping another guitar guy. The rest of the circle consists of the spectators. These are the guys and girls who have decided to sit there and listen to the guitar guy as he strums away in that sweetly sensitive manner of his. The guitar guy would have you believe that his playing in a public setting was completely impromptu and he never intended for anyone to sit around and listen. This is a lie. While he may make it seem like he happened to “find” the guitar simply lying around, the reality is an elaborate plan in which he made sure the right audience was around before he started playing.
This is the first reason why we should not put up with the guitar guy. He is a deceiver. He would have you believe that his first interest and goal for the public displays of his so-called talent is just because he simply loves playing music. If this were the case, there is no lack of empty music practice rooms in the basement of the dorms where you can more than adequately satisfy your innate need for musical production. This is, of course, not a viable option for a true guitar guy. He needs to be seen, to be heard, which leads to the second reason why his actions are not okay.
The guitar guy is inherently self-centered. He boasts in his own strength and is confident that other people want to be just like him. This is the main reason why he gets on my nerves. He uses his guitar playing to give himself a sense of entitlement. When he sings, we hear, “Look at the stars! Look how they shine for you!” the words to a popular Coldplay song, but what he is actually singing is, “I’m going to steal your girlfriend.” Granted this shouldn’t bother me since I don’t have a girlfriend for him to steal, but the principle of the matter is that he is using manipulative and sneaky ways to win the hearts of beautiful women. Just as using a net to snatch fish out of a lake is not allowed in most states, the same should be true for snatching females out of the lake with a few minor chords.
Jealousy isn’t my only reason for hating the guitar guy. It is because of him that the true, humble talent of certain individuals is stifled and never observed even when it deserves to be. I use my roommate as an excellent example. He is extremely gifted musically. More so, I would say, than the average student at this University. He shares my sentiments about the guitar guys. They create an image that all guys who play guitar are recognition seeking attention hoarders. This is not the case. There are those out there, like my roommate, with amazing talent who are also humble. The correct way to go about sharing your talents is use humility when doing so. There is nothing wrong with picking up a guitar and singing a song when someone else suggests you do so or you are in an intimate setting with your close friends. It is when you seek recognition that your guitar playing becomes more of a nuisance than quality entertainment.
It is good to develop your talents. However, there is a time and place for everything and in the lobby of the dorm halls is not that place. Not only is it bothersome to those around you but it also sends the wrong message. The message is that you are more worried about impressing people and showing off than actually making music. It is an blemish on the face of musicianship when you seek attention from others for your talent. It is much more respectable if you merely mention the fact that you happen to play the guitar rather than feel it necessary to show everybody. If those around you are truly interested in your talent then they will request that you share with them. Otherwise I sincerely plead with you to keep it to yourself. Go somewhere private to woo your woman, that’s the most tactful way to do it. Spare the rest of us the agony of listening to your sensitivity and passion put into a fixed set of popular songs. My opinion of the kind of person you are thanks you.
